sexta-feira, setembro 14, 2007

Esse grande amigo que atende pela alcunha de Cascarravias

O texto de hoje é meio que uma homenagem ao grande Cascarravias, que é o codinome internético desse meu grande amigo, natural da pequena e pacata cidade de Überlândia. Casca é conhecido entre a galera freqüentadora deste muquifo virtual como o mais ferrenho e mordaz comentador, incapaz de perdoar diatribes e arroubos emocionais de jovens mancebos, americanos pomposos ou hare-filhos de paccha hare-mama. As meninas realmente se derretem pelo cara por aqui, a ponto de aventarem a possibilidade da criação de uma comunidade no orkut em sua homenagem – algo que, emocionado, aprovo e apóio.


O que talvez poucos saibam é que, além da cabeça de homem e do coração de menino, Casca é o melhor cozinheiro do Sudeste, talvez do Brasil, quiçá de todo esse mundinho de meu Deus. Além dos homéricos churrascos, como o do meu aniversário (que você confere aqui), já vi o cara cozinhar frango com bacon ao molho de queijos, já o vi fazer um rodízio de pizzas da melhor qualidade, já o vi preparar um atum verdadeiro pra um amigo que pensava que atuns nasciam dentro de pequenas latas, e já o vi rechear tomates com atum e alcaparras, cobri-los com queijo parmesão e levá-los ao forno. Se algum dia eu abrir um restaurante, será a primeira pessoa a quem irei propor sociedade.










E para ilustrar essa homenagem gastronômica, encerro o post com uma foto do jantar que Casca preparou nesta última terça, por ocasião do 11 de Setembro: um verdadeiro rodízio de comidas árabes, que incluiu kafta, esfiha de queijo, arroz com lentilha, quibe cru, homus tahine, pasta de berinjela e salada de grão de bico com trigo. Quem estiver com fome está fudido...






19 comentários:

Juliano disse...

Léo é realmente muito talentoso na cozinha. Um prodígio!

Pena eu não ter comemorado com vocês o 11 de Setembro. Pena mesmo... Leo, seu puto, me convida! Sou seu fã!

gigi disse...

nessas horas ninguém lembra da gigi.

Paulo Bono disse...

tô fudido.

Anônimo disse...

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! Batter up!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear Arthur, thanx a million for serving this one up. It's a great spirit lifter!

Is that really HIM, though? I mean, up until this time I thought he was actually spawned from someone else's crude imagination. Holy shit!
I know he is bracing himself this very moment. Cursing my dear Arthur for posting such a thing. Waiting with extreme anxiety for what this Gringo...opps...fuck where's my beer? Shit on the floor...Achei! Waiting for what this AMERICAN has to say...
Well... I don't think this is the place for insults. So for a change but only on this particular occasion, I am going to praise the Great Cascarravias.

First, Casca is a true rebel. The only soul from Uberlandia who never emigrated to the USA. While all of his former neighbors are presently living in far off exotic places like Boston, New York, Newark, Orlando and Miami, Casca stays defending his abandoned and now desolate city of birth like a true native son. VIVA UBERLANDIA!!!

Second, Casca has to be one of the most tenacious bastards I've ever known. The guy really takes a beating week after week from me but he still stays commenting whatever it is he comments on. Most of the time I have no idea what it is he is saying but I know he is always there.
I never expect to hear him cry out for mercy, either. Let this be a lesson for you all.

Third, Casca has to be the only individual with an IQ over 78 who still thinks a bunch of arabs in some Afghan cave were responsible for 9-11. Cheers for Osama, the CIA, Bush, Cheney, Fox News and the continuation of genocidal american imperialism! Especially on that day...

Fourth, from the looks of the photo, Casca can indeed prepare a dish of rice and beans. He probably can't afford a slave from the local favela to do it for him but hey, Casca is still technically contributing his part to enhancing universal social justice. Let this also be a lesson for you all.

Fifth, Casca can actually dwell in a place like Brazil without using drugs, alcohol and from the looks of the photo, sex as well. This is a living Saint, gente. I know, I too am in total awe.

Sixth, Casca is the only human ever born into this world attached to an mp3 player blaring the Sex Pistol's "Never Mind the Bollocks". Christ, it took me until the age of 16 to discover such greatness...

Seventh, Casca may be the only Brazilian man alive today who could marry and tame the infamous Dona Grossa. Casca man, from what I know she's still miserable, sadistic and single. What are you waiting for? Arthur has her e-mail address.

Finally, I must add that one day very soon Casca will have attained a PHD in political science. He's a shining example of what the brazilian educational system can produce. I almost regret the fact I had to repeat my freshman year 3 times with no success.
What was the formula for Casca's stellar academic brilliance? It's all the USA's fault. Even I could not match such sheer genious. Fuck, I feel so un-worthy to be in Casca's presence sometimes...

Now gente, I expect all of you, especially you ABSURDO regulars, to heap praise on his royal intellectual greatness, Cascarravias, like I have. If I can do it so can you. ;P

Cascarravias disse...

vendo gringo pedante semi-novo. devido à procedência, sem opcionais. aceito seu pc como parte do pgamento.

Anônimo disse...

eu compro! aceita meu ford 147 como parte do pagamento?

Anônimo disse...

See????? He waited. Stayed up all night for me. Why enhance my ego like that???? Fool!!! Casca, you're safe when Arthur writes about something too abstract for me. Hell, you're safe 6 out of 7 days a week.
You know what casca? I am gonna leave you alone. I am gonna ignore you. It's the best medicine for you. It's gonna be difficult for me as well because I need you for inspiration but I'll survive. Can you?
Enjoy celebrating continued american genocidal imperialism for every 9-11 to come. I must confess your food looks good but I am going to celebrate the exact opposite on this particular day. I am going to celebrate the inevitable demise of the New World Order every September 11th. I also know my rice and beans taste better... ;P

Anônimo disse...

Now gente, I'm being serious when I say to give praise to Casca. He deserves it. I tried my best to teach him some things. I like to be proud of my enemies.
I am going to leave him alone from here on.
For those of you who are new to Absurdosturos, take a good look at the comment's section for the last 6 months. Read it, especially under the influence of maconha. There's some funny shit goin' on. It was all sincere and spontaneous too.
Casca man, Arthur hates the USA as well but it's different. He tries to understand his enemies. I am more than happy to give him all the info he so desires.
No Casca, the USA is not responsible for 80% of the world's problems. Certainly not in Brazil. We don't give a shit about Brazil and if you take a good look at a map then you'll realize it's too fuckin' big for our army to invade. Your oligarchs have known this for ages.
They're your real enemy. They even think they are better than you. They think money is toilet paper rather than invest the stuff with their own people. Your oligarchs are weak and stupid. Take them out. Take them out. And please, have fun while you're doing it...

Cascarravias disse...

gringo, já te mandaram tomar no cu hoje? ah, já? faz mal não, vai de novo.

Samantha Abreu disse...

nossaa... essa mesa me deu água na boca!

Gahyva disse...

Eu amo Leonardo Andrada!

Anônimo disse...

gringo, vai tomar no rabo

Anônimo disse...

Hi, I'm Garrett, from Brokeback Montain. I'm gay. I'm very very gay. Very gay. I'm Garrett, from Brokeback Montain.

ps: Casca, you're so hot...

Diogo Lyra disse...

Valeu Leo, mas teu pai me deve uma paella...

Jana disse...

Verdade seja dita Casca, tu és o rei dos comentários. A Bruna Sofistinha é a rainha.

E, hombre, com tudo isso aí que tu sabes cozinhar, ela deve ser forte candidata à bulimia. Não é a toa que o Arthur fala das segundas da hipocrisia.

Acho que nem Pequeno Príncipe nem Dom Quixote, o que está acontecendo ai é o Talentoso Ripley. Falando em livros, ouvi rumores que tu gostas de bandas de três acordes, já leu "mate-me, por favor"? Muito bom.

Vivi disse...

Opa, cheguei atrasada pra esse post! Saudações ao grande Cascarravias! Ai...tomate seco com recheio de alcaparras, cobertos com parmesão...me derreto.

Cascarravias disse...

muchas gracias... a todos.

Anônimo disse...

opa,

mesmo acho esse cara um ignorante pelos comentarios preconceituosos e estupidos que postou sobre o Harebostock... tenho que reconhecer que a mesa esta bonita!!

Parabens, proxima vez me chama
ehehehee

Adriano Carôso disse...

Como diria um grande amigo meu. Vá matar o cão! Esse Cascarravias bota pra fuder!