Sacanagem esse mapa americano, hahahaha! Nem vou contestar o carioca bairrista não, porque não raro meu sotaque é confundido com o de nordestina ao falar com alguém de SP ou do sul, além do calor e da baixa umidade do ar nesses dias por aqui que dão uma preguiiiiiça...
Bem, temos a Cidade Maravilhosa e da ponte Rio-Niterói pra cima é tudo paraíba. Isso quer dizer que niteroienses são considerados "gente do norte" aqui no Rio de Janeiro. No sul, o Sul - terra dos gays, das gaúchas e dos paraguaios. Fora do Brasil é tudo argentino ou alemão mesmo, como no Sul.
Gente, I dont need to be a global citizen Because Im blessed by nationality Im member of a growing populace We enforce our popularity There are things that Seem to pull us under And there are things That drag us down But theres a power And a vital presence Thats lurking all around Weve got the american jesus See him on the interstate Weve got the american jesus He helped build the Presidents estate I feel sorry For the earths population cuz so few Live in the u.s.a. At least the foreigners Can copy our morality They can visit but they cannot stay Only precious few Can garner the prosperity It makes us walk With renewed confidence Weve got a place to go when we die And the architect resides right here Weve got the american jesus Overwhelming millions every day (exercising his authority) Hes the farmers barren fields The force the army wields The expession in the faces Of the starving children The power of the man Hes the fuel that drives the clan Hes the motive and conscience Of the murderer Hes the preacher on t.v. The false sincerity The form letter thats written By the big computers Hes the nuclear bombs And the kids with no moms And Im fearful that Hes inside me
Now let's see...Gigi? I have no idea what you're talking about as usual but I must know one thing. I mean if you were that impressed, did you fuck him? C'mon let's get real here...
Ok ok ok ok ... back to the main theme. Xenophobia. Yeah, you cariocas are some of the most notorious xenophobes I have ever gotten to know. You make the red necks of West Virginia look like a bunch of practioners of Ghandi. Only Cambodians and the Hopi Indians of Arizona have got you all beat...
Many stories to tell about this one. Where do I begin?
First, all cariocas hate Tijucanos. It's a fact so you must all get over it. When I was always asked which Bairro I thought was best, I always answered Tijuca. Many would go nuts with rage especially after I began listing the reasons why.
There was this Perua from Leblon I once dated. She, like most people dwelling in Rio's world famous South Side, was waiting for both her and mother and father to grow old and die so she could inherit the condo. Arthur man, we are talking serious carioca opulance here. Uniformed maids and a penthouse apartment that would make Dona Grossa's abode look like a one bedroom shack in West Virginia.
Anyway this particular woman never ventured farther north than Ipanema. Why? Copacabana was in actuallity a Tijuca by the sea...she always told me this.
Then there were the intellectual gate-keepers of all things Carioca. Tijuca? Nossa! You're fuckin' crazy...Better carry robbing money with you. They'll kill a gringo up there if he has none. What could I do? I could never carry large amounts of robbery cash on me because I lived there. It was rare when I carried 20 reais much less 50 expected for the robbery cash. 20 favelas surround the place I was constantly told. Tijuca was permanenetly fucked. The north east of brazil? Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Tijuca for thousands of miles. Why go there? Buzios??? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That's where Tijucanos go! Go to Angra where the real people go to recreate!
Ahhh, but even those who lived deep in suburbio had nothing but contempt for my fair Teeeezzzzhhhhuuuuuuuuca. "....The fuckers actually think they are south zoners...." This came from a douche-bag I knew up in Casca-fuckin'-dura. The guy prided himself with owning a different pair of Nike Air Jordan for every day of the week. Yes I know, I was in awe of such spectacular stupidity and spoke to hime many times as a result...
Barra? Por fa fuckin vor! This was where self-hating tijucanos moved to escape from ever being called a Tijucano. "...Look?!? We're trying to improve!" was what these traitor scum would plead to any a south zoner who would take pity upon them and listen.
So why Tijuca? Well it was the one and only place where many a carioca told me they were totally fucked. I can apreciate an honest confession every now and then. It was also the one place where I encountered more real people than anywhere else. "I am me so fuck it...." Rarely found this sentiment up in suburbio and never down south. Fuckin south zoners...don't they know they too are favelados in the eyes of a gringo???? Who do they think they are? Us? Por fa fuckin vor...
Finally, I found too much love in Tijuca. So many women. Go five blocks in any direction from Saens Pena and there was a lover living in an apartment on each street. Yes, I loved them all and that was a huge problem.
Tijuca was my great fuck you. I hated bota-fuckin-fogo for the longest time though. Why? Those fuckers thought they were Tijucanos. Then you again would need to count 5 blocks in any direction from the bota-fuckin-fogo metro station to understand my eventual change of heart.
So fuck you! Tijuca is the heart and soul. The holy center. Where it all begins and ends. If you can't figure all of this out then I am sorry. TEEEZZZZHHHHUUUUUUUUUCA!!!!!
Yes I must confess that canadians are still a bunch of puxa-sacos. God save the fuckin Queen!!!!!
sem muito tempo pra escrever, tenho usado o espaço do absurdosturos para publicar novidades sobre a banda de rock instrumental Fantasmagore: www.myspace.com/fantasmagoreweb
Pra baixar uma infinidade de discos de música brasileira, pegue os links no excelente site Um Que Tenha.
Pra pesquisar sobre a MPB (música psicodélica brasileira) dos anos 60 e 70, visite Brazilian Nuggets.
E para pesquisar sobre qualquer banda ou músico do mundo, vá de All Music.
19 comentários:
sensacional, velho arthur.
abração
no último mapa, esse "não venha aqui" me pareceu extremamente tentador.
Sacanagem esse mapa americano, hahahaha! Nem vou contestar o carioca bairrista não, porque não raro meu sotaque é confundido com o de nordestina ao falar com alguém de SP ou do sul, além do calor e da baixa umidade do ar nesses dias por aqui que dão uma preguiiiiiça...
Bem, temos a Cidade Maravilhosa e da ponte Rio-Niterói pra cima é tudo paraíba. Isso quer dizer que niteroienses são considerados "gente do norte" aqui no Rio de Janeiro.
No sul, o Sul - terra dos gays, das gaúchas e dos paraguaios.
Fora do Brasil é tudo argentino ou alemão mesmo, como no Sul.
Fantástico isso! Lindo!
Aff, mas tem cada pérola sua no meu blog... Quando você for famoso publico uma coletânea! :)
Gente, I dont need to be a global citizen
Because Im blessed by nationality
Im member of a growing populace
We enforce our popularity
There are things that
Seem to pull us under
And there are things
That drag us down
But theres a power
And a vital presence
Thats lurking all around
Weve got the american jesus
See him on the interstate
Weve got the american jesus
He helped build the
Presidents estate
I feel sorry
For the earths population
cuz so few
Live in the u.s.a.
At least the foreigners
Can copy our morality
They can visit but they cannot stay
Only precious few
Can garner the prosperity
It makes us walk
With renewed confidence
Weve got a place to go when we die
And the architect resides right here
Weve got the american jesus
Overwhelming millions every day
(exercising his authority)
Hes the farmers barren fields
The force the army wields
The expession in the faces
Of the starving children
The power of the man
Hes the fuel that drives the clan
Hes the motive and conscience
Of the murderer
Hes the preacher on t.v.
The false sincerity
The form letter thats written
By the big computers
Hes the nuclear bombs
And the kids with no moms
And Im fearful that
Hes inside me
http://www.cenasmarginais.blogspot.com/
pessoal, acabei de retornar de um show desses jovens que estao no post logo abaixo. genial, é oque tenho a dizer sobre este ERRATA!!!
cara, que coincidência, eu também estava lá! muito bons esses garotos
sempre sábio, hein moço??? tô com pouco tempo pro blog e abandonada por meu companheiro... rs!
mas já, já a gente tá voltando, viu??
um cheiro... =]
O show foi legal, mas o melhor mesmo foi a presença d'El Cascarravias.
Now let's see...Gigi? I have no idea what you're talking about as usual but I must know one thing. I mean if you were that impressed, did you fuck him? C'mon let's get real here...
Ok ok ok ok ... back to the main theme. Xenophobia. Yeah, you cariocas are some of the most notorious xenophobes I have ever gotten to know. You make the red necks of West Virginia look like a bunch of practioners of Ghandi. Only Cambodians and the Hopi Indians of Arizona have got you all beat...
Many stories to tell about this one. Where do I begin?
First, all cariocas hate Tijucanos. It's a fact so you must all get over it.
When I was always asked which Bairro I thought was best, I always answered Tijuca. Many would go nuts with rage especially after I began listing the reasons why.
There was this Perua from Leblon I once dated. She, like most people dwelling in Rio's world famous South Side, was waiting for both her and mother and father to grow old and die so she could inherit the condo.
Arthur man, we are talking serious carioca opulance here. Uniformed maids and a penthouse apartment that would make Dona Grossa's abode look like a one bedroom shack in West Virginia.
Anyway this particular woman never ventured farther north than Ipanema. Why? Copacabana was in actuallity a Tijuca by the sea...she always told me this.
Then there were the intellectual gate-keepers of all things Carioca. Tijuca? Nossa! You're fuckin' crazy...Better carry robbing money with you. They'll kill a gringo up there if he has none.
What could I do? I could never carry large amounts of robbery cash on me because I lived there. It was rare when I carried 20 reais much less 50 expected for the robbery cash. 20 favelas surround the place I was constantly told. Tijuca was permanenetly fucked.
The north east of brazil? Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Tijuca for thousands of miles. Why go there? Buzios??? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That's where Tijucanos go! Go to Angra where the real people go to recreate!
Ahhh, but even those who lived deep in suburbio had nothing but contempt for my fair Teeeezzzzhhhhuuuuuuuuca.
"....The fuckers actually think they are south zoners...."
This came from a douche-bag I knew up in Casca-fuckin'-dura. The guy prided himself with owning a different pair of Nike Air Jordan for every day of the week. Yes I know, I was in awe of such spectacular stupidity and spoke to hime many times as a result...
Barra? Por fa fuckin vor! This was where self-hating tijucanos moved to escape from ever being called a Tijucano.
"...Look?!? We're trying to improve!" was what these traitor scum would plead to any a south zoner who would take pity upon them and listen.
So why Tijuca? Well it was the one and only place where many a carioca told me they were totally fucked. I can apreciate an honest confession every now and then.
It was also the one place where I encountered more real people than anywhere else.
"I am me so fuck it...." Rarely found this sentiment up in suburbio and never down south.
Fuckin south zoners...don't they know they too are favelados in the eyes of a gringo???? Who do they think they are? Us? Por fa fuckin vor...
Finally, I found too much love in Tijuca. So many women. Go five blocks in any direction from Saens Pena and there was a lover living in an apartment on each street.
Yes, I loved them all and that was a huge problem.
Tijuca was my great fuck you. I hated bota-fuckin-fogo for the longest time though. Why? Those fuckers thought they were Tijucanos. Then you again would need to count 5 blocks in any direction from the bota-fuckin-fogo metro station to understand my eventual change of heart.
So fuck you! Tijuca is the heart and soul. The holy center. Where it all begins and ends. If you can't figure all of this out then I am sorry. TEEEZZZZHHHHUUUUUUUUUCA!!!!!
Yes I must confess that canadians are still a bunch of puxa-sacos. God save the fuckin Queen!!!!!
Rá! Muito bom, adorei.
Special Relationship US/UK
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